Seven Coloured Compass

Beneath the starry sky, we'll meet once again.

At last, I can convey my feelings for you.

1 Comment

Konnichiwa!

So you may be wondering why I’m not posting up the usual anime review or seiyuu info post, but that’s a story for another day. I’ve been writing a bunch of short stories in my notebook recently and we all know that I love writing literature. Especially fiction. Well, I thought that I would like to share the stories I write with you guys and get your opinions on them. If you could support my writing then I’d be very happy! Here’s the first of many short stories I’ve written inspired by the relationships of childhood friends. I wrote this whilst I was at school one morning…how original. The format of how this story is written is like one in a game and is in the first person. The names in bold are the ones speaking and the rest are narrations. Please note that this is all fictional and no characters are based on actual people.

A love so great that you can’t let go. A love so powerful that you couldn’t possibly forget. A love so tender that you want to cherish forever. What would I do without you? You told me to walk towards the light but… you were my light. My one and only.

I wake up in a cold sweat. That dream again. The same recurring dream which I can’t seem to grasp. I dreamt of him again. Yes, my lover. My soul mate. Two halves of a whole but no longer whole. Just half. A useless half who can’t do anything by herself. I grab a fistful of hair and cry softly; pulling my legs into my chest to stop the pain from spreading. Pieces of memories flash into my mind; small fragments which make it all the more unbearable. My cries get louder when the door quietly opens and I feel myself embraced in warmth. A silky voice whispers my ear:

???: “Ssh. Don’t worry, calm down. I’m here with you”

A large hand gently pats my head as he says this. Xavier. He’s my childhood friend. I’m living with him for temporary accommodation since my apartment was taken away from me after… he died. Xavier was the only one I could count on and he offered that I stay with him until I find a place for myself. So, here I am. I look up at him to see his face so close to mine. His blonde hair swept across his face. His dark eyes boring into mine. A moment of silence. Time went by without either one of us averting our gaze, then he slowly brings his face closer. I close my eyes but push him away without too much force.

Xavier: “Why? Why are you pushing me away?!”

He almost shouts at this. I hug myself and move away from him, checking the distance.

Me: “I can’t. I feel guilty.”

Xavier looks at me, anger filling his eyes.

Xavier: “Why? Its been a year since he died! Why did you come here, knowing how I feel about you?! Tell me Angelique. Tell me please.”

Me: “Don’t. Don’t say my name the way he said it! He was our childhood friend, my lover! Why are you so upset about this? Can’t you see that I love him so much that it’s tearing me apart?! I can’t move on so quickly, I’m afraid of leaving him behind. I can’t. He’ll feel lonely.”

Xavier: “He’s dead Angelique! Open your eyes! Nothing you do will bring him back. It’s not your fault that he died. You know I miss him too but I’ve moved on. It’s what he would want. It’s what he would want for you too. So let go.”

I was at a loss for words. I never expected Xavier to be so… serious. My most important person. It was my fault he died. Why didn’t Xavier understand? If he didn’t save me from that car, then he wouldn’t have… wait. I noticed something damp on my hands. When did these tears start falling? They never seem to stop. They just keep flowing and flowing. Everything that I’d been holding in has suddenly overwhelmed at this moment. Why was Xavier the only one who can manage to get my true feelings out? I look up at him again. His chiseled features, his toned body. His warm gaze.

Me: “But still -”

Xavier: “Angel.”

I freeze in shock. What did he just say? What is this pleasant sensation I feel in my heart?

Xavier: “Angel. I can’t hide it anymore so I will put this as simple as possible.”

Xavier says as he gets off my bed and goes down on one knee. He takes my hand into his and my eyes get wider in surprise. Xavier. Our eyes level and he starts speaking.

Xavier: “Angel, I have been in love with you for as long as I can remember. I wake up everyday thinking of you and I do the same every night. You’re the only one who I think of so dearly. All your perfections and imperfections… they make me love you even more. Now look at me. I’m twenty years old and my feelings for you have never been clearer. You’re the one who I want to spend the rest of my life with. I’ve always held back and suppressed my emotions because of him but no more.”

He places the hand not holding mine onto his forehead and sighs loudly.

Xavier: “I want to be with you, by your side. Forever.”

Xavier. He’s being serious. His face shows it all. It’s bright red. How cute. I’ve always loved this about Xavier, he shows his emotions so easily. But, his true feelings towards me. He’s always been hiding them. For my sake. For my own happiness. All these years and he’s gone by without saying a word. Xavier, why? Why didn’t you tell me sooner? You’ve been in pain because of me, yet you never complained. Why did I never see this before? Why didn’t I say anything to Xavier? That sensation I felt earlier makes its way back into my mind but now I know what it is. Love. I love Xavier. The feelings I never noticed before, have reached my heart at last.

Xavier: “I know that you still love him and that will never change, but I still want to be with you.”

I shake my head at him. No. Thank you for protecting me. Thank you for supporting me. Thank you for loving me.

Me: “Xavier.”

He looks up with a slight hint of shock in his eyes. Maybe it was the way I said his name so fondly.

Me: “The scars I have from the past may continue to haunt me, but I want to heal them. For you.”

Xavier: “Angel?”

Me: “Yes. I want to be with Xavier too. I want us to go through life together and to experience everything with you. I want us to be able to say our feelings to each other everyday. I just want to be by your side. Forever.”

I smile at him and his face lights up with joy and confusion.

Xavier: “Does this mean…?”

He reaches out for my hair, taking a strand and kissing it.

Me: “I am yours Xavier.”

Another moment of silence.

Xavier: “At last, I can convey my feelings for you.”

Xavier closes the distance between us and seals my lips with his. He caresses my face with his hand and I place my arms around his neck. A soft and tender kiss full of love. With this kiss, I vow my eternal love for him. In this blissful moment, I pray to god that this love will last. Xavier pulls back a little as he softly murmurs against my lips,

Xavier: “Finally.”

One thought on “At last, I can convey my feelings for you.

  1. Love it…. I can actully see this happening :3

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